How to Not Let a Bad Relationship Ruin a Good Song

We all know that gut-punch feeling of hearing familiar chords tied to a past relationship. Whether it was ~our song~ or our favorite track from the band they turned us on to, losing the music we use to soundtrack our relationships is often a bigger tragedy than losing the relationship itself.

But we don’t have to accept a life of deleted playlists and skipped tracks! I say we reclaim the great songs we’ve let fall to the wayside for the wrong reasons.

There are many ways to go about this, but I find immersion therapy is the best technique. Hit repeat and suffer — as long as it takes. Force yourself to listen to that Ed Sheeran song over and over until all emotions have been stripped away. You’ll either become numb to it, or you’ll hate it because it’s been grossly overplayed instead of the fact it reminds you of your shitty ex. A win-win.

You might not have access to your ex’s Spotify Premium account anymore, but you can still get out there and take back what was once yours. Here are 5 songs that I have Un-Ruined after a breakup, for inspiration.

Even in 6th grade, country music was not my speed. But this song blasted through the middle school gym during my very first slow dance with this kid I had a massive crush on. We stood as far apart as our arms would physically allow and shifted our weight from one foot to the other. I probably had on body glitter.

A week later her asked one of my best friends to be his girlfriend. It was a heartbreak unlike any other.

Length of Relationship: 1 song
Time Taken to Get Over It: To be honest, I’m still not really over it.

Ok-

I know-

Ugh-

Ok-

We all have our own version of a “bad boy” phase. When I was 15, that meant guys with eyebrow piercings and bottle bleached straightened bangs who were the “screamer” in their garage band. This is as embarrassing for me to type as it is for you to read.

Regardless, this guy “sang” Ohio is for Lovers to me over my first flip phone (after 9 pm, when minutes were free, of course). I was young, in love, in Ohio, and thought this was the most romantic thing a guy could do. It was the definition of #goals before #goals was even a thing. I would say my standards have improved, but I might be lying.

The guy stayed far, far in the past (as high school exes ought to do), but the song is still great to revisit like an old friend.

Length of Relationship: A cumulative 6 months, maybe?
Time Taken to Get Over It: Probably another cumulative 6 months — hormones, man

It’s a little unfair to include this on a list about bad relationships, because it wasn’t. We were two great people who just grew apart, which happens in your early twenties. But even when breakups aren’t awful they feel awful. So awful that even nonsense lyrics like “You were my tangerine / My pussycat / My trampoline” can cut deep.

This one definitely took the longest to work its way back into my regular rotation, but I’m so glad it did. Love comes and goes, but The Format is forever.

Length of Relationship: 2.5 years
Time Taken to Get Over It: 1 year

On the complete opposite end of the predictability spectrum from Hawthorne Heights, it really doesn’t get much more cliche than having a Bon Iver song ruined by a bad breakup. A significant percentage of this song’s 225 million+ Spotify plays were probably the two of us acting like we were in some indie rom com about two people “overcoming the odds”™ because “true love”™ is always enough when you’re “soulmates”™. Falsetto and False Hopes. And so many capital-F Feelings. I’m more embarrassed by this than Ohio Is for Lovers.

Should I have taken it as an omen that a song about a super toxic relationship had been our song? Listen, hindsight is 20/20.

Length of Relationship: Approx. 1 year
Time Taken to Get Over It: 2–3 months

A guy on a dating app told me this was his favorite TAI song and then ghosted me. I guess this doesn’t really deserve to be on the list.

Length of Relationship: 4 days of texting
Time Taken to Get Over It: Approx. 2 hours

You can find a playlist of these songs and other I have taken back from the ghosts of ex-boyfriends’ past here. Wowzers!

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