I see things a little differently

For all the wyrd ones out there, hello!

This is one comrade sharing with you into the echo chamber of neurosis that somehow is a requirement for the survival of the human race at this particular time in history/herstory.

We are in very interesting times and the time lines of possibility have tentacle extensions in the duality of our potential existence. We could be on the verge of collapsing and destroying our human expressions into nothingness and we could also be on the cusp of a great awakening. What does that mean and what is next is always on my mind!

I have been on a muse on this apparent but precarious dilemma we are collectively experiencing for many years. It intrigues me how human’s respond, relate and repose their views, thoughts and emotions and what has caused the mess we are in. Some are numb. Some are crusty. Some lean into the air-faery spaces of expression. Some get angry, motivated and opinionated. Some just don’t care. Some have way too much power. We all have egos that are running rampant.

I tend to be a watcher. I watch people a lot. I am curious of what it is that creates, causes and constricts consciousness. So, my interests lie in the human expression factor..that little blip of awareness that becomes each one of us and how that fits into the glory of Nature. How does that work? And, what is this all about? I also tend to be an eclectic scientist but I break rules to discover new formulas and outcomes. I have a lot of failures. This applies to my love of kitchen and garden magic and the ways of expressing who I am as a human being. So, I get messy sometimes as the explosions create something not intended but totally appreciated (at least by me).

I do go to the deep…and like to stay there to feel the markers. Sometimes I suffocate but I always come up for air…gasping into this expression of Leisha. And then I realize there are a lot of games going on and a lot we have no fucking clue about. Although I resist and recoil from it, I am a CT (conspiracy theorist) but that has come from knowing that things are NOT right and not as we are told. What if we all got it all. I think that would be a very, very difficult realization and I am not sure we could survive it. There is lot we don’t know. There is a lot we miss. There is a lot hidden and removed from our understanding. And, most of it is intended. Is it even possible for our little minds to grasp it all? And, can we grasp it? I actually don’t think so! We’d be heart broken in cognitive dissonance running rampant. But, we can help each other in the reveals and realizations (real lies folks).

I feel I am a product of the new ways of the Nature desperately seeking to know the old ways of expressions which has been lost, removed and ignored. Actually most of those ways have been wiped away and hidden from our view. We have most definitely disconnected from our natural way of being. We have lost the art of self sufficiency, magic and most of us are dependent and relying on a “system” to contain and resolve for us. We are fearful too…we just don’t know how to take a those steps to be free and take back the power.

I am 50 and have a “story” that I’ve never met (and always sought) a crone elder whose tough and generous love could guide and corral me towards an authentic way of being. This has been lost. This is perhaps the story of my generation. We didn’t have the elders. The elders were stuck in the paradigm of civilized survival and forgot to learn the ancestors way. The depressions and the human industrialization clamped it’s hardened claws into their worlds and has made a complete mess all around. TV, technology, main stream media manipulation, raping the earth are the huge influence in our generational unfolding. My generation is caught in the middle. We found ourselves with no ancestral gifts and need to relearn how to be and become that for the generations after.

I suppose, though, in all honesty, I have always rebelled and rebuffed at what appeared to me to be ridiculous. I was raised in the Catholic faith but at some point came to realize it is a mockery of who we are! Corruption is crazy and we can’t agree to this any more! Participating IN IT is saying “I agree”. I can’t do that! And, we need to look at this as a group, as people!

Last year I became a Grand Mommy (my GM name is Naja). The year before that I was ordained in the Walking Ministry of Prayer with the Ministry of the Sacred Sciences (13 Grandmothers). I must say this was quite a eye opener into the psychology of being me and I have not grasped it yet. I have spent the last 7 years of my life “getting out” and breaking free of that which we think is sustainable culture and consciousness. What is my Ministry? I have no clue…and here I am looking, searching and being in that “lostness” expressing. So, maybe my ministry is “lost”? And, I don’t think I would want it any other way. I’ve been lost and broken, curious, contained, blown away and quite focussed on what it will take to rebuild and reclaim our personal right to “be”. I left abruptly and without reason a life of western modernization and literally lived outdoors for 4 years. I survived for a couple of years on $20 a week. I become land based with hardened and knobbly hands proving my determination. I’ve not bathed or washed for weeks on end often becoming quite wyld and crazy in dirt. I left a life of convenience to look for what I think is the lost art of being human. I now grow my own food and medicine. I now have a life that is different from the one lived in the western culture. I snub and avoid systems. I want to choose my life and in the system, you loose that ability. And, so I put my middle finger UP at those places we created. And, it does afford some sense of liberation. I am authentic is this. I am not perfect. I like to party and let loose. I smoke as an act of defiance and yet I know my health shit. Yes, we can be crazy crones! I don’t bitch and complain about the systems OR rely on them for my convenience or security. That is inauthentic and, sorry folks, this is a serious dilemma for many. Don’t bitch about the systems if you are using them in agreement.

All these topics and more will be revealed in my world of creative sharing. And, I found some things…the most important being that we have lost the art of being lost and expressing as natural beings.

And there are many circles and spirals happening. I want to tell stories about this. So, here I am. I am ready to express and share what I see even if the only one listening is me. It is, after all, only me I always hear, anyways, 24/7. Same with you! We all have this affliction.

My interest will be put into words. They include:

So, I am new to this medium of expression but have felt a deep and desirous need to put things “out”. I feel very passionately that the change of the outer world is only going to happen in the inner world. We are, together, in a precarious position and that is reflected in the current world affairs. We can assist each other and walk this path together only if we are authentic and deciding the path of grace and wisdom. It means change. We are afraid of change. We want comfort. We will argue ourselves green that things are not right but we don’t have to change. Integrity is hard. We may disagree with each other and challenge each other but if we can’t speak our truth, we are stuck. And, stuck is exactly where the powers that be wish us to be! I say screw that!

I am not always right…and each day I change my mind often, but I am open to learning and rewiring that which is not workable anymore. I will call out shit! I will cry a lot! I will bitch, love, scream and whisper into this world gone mad.

I like to write. I use made up words and coddlebonk expressions. I try to edit but don’t always like to follow those rules. I may rant and rage but I work it out. My name is Leisha!

Appreciate the claps as they give me clues that the vacuum is not empty and is like a medicine of the virtual potential that is not a human virus of destruction. Gratitude for the shares so that words can be as powerful shared as they are just samples and sounds of the words of creation. In vibration to be the way forward where-ever it may lead us . Humbly and gracefully!

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